Lena Waithe is reflecting candidly on her short-lived marriage to Alana Mayo, saying she entered the relationship believing it was what she was supposed to do rather than what truly made her happy. In a June 1 appearance on Dax Shepard’s “Armchair Expert” podcast, the 42-year-old writer, producer and actor said she did not yet have the language or self-understanding to recognize that her own happiness mattered. Waithe and Mayo dated for three years, became engaged in 2017 and married in 2019, but announced their separation only two months later. Mayo filed for divorce in November 2020, and the divorce was finalized in May 2021.
Waithe said that, in hindsight, she neglected her own needs in order to preserve the relationship. She explained that she focused on honoring the marriage without fully asking herself what she wanted in the long term. One major realization, she said, was that she did not want to have children, a life change she acknowledged was significant. At the time, she said, she kept postponing that truth while still trying to figure out her identity and future.
The “Chi” creator said she was not completely clear with Mayo about her intentions and admitted she lacked a deeper five-year vision for her life. She recalled being focused on the immediate dream of building a shared home and life together, but not pausing to think about whether their goals were aligned. Looking back, she said the breakup was not handled as honestly or kindly as it should have been, describing the end of the marriage as chaotic and comparing it to a car crash. She accepted responsibility for her behavior and said she wishes she had handled the situation better.
Despite the painful split, Waithe said she feels grateful for the marriage because it changed her life and because Mayo is “an amazing human.” She emphasized that there is no bitterness between them and said she wants Mayo to be happy, even if that happiness comes without her. For Waithe, that perspective is part of understanding what real love looks like. She suggested that leaving the relationship may have been the right choice because she did not believe she could have given Mayo the life she wanted.
Waithe’s comments show a more reflective side of her personal journey, highlighting how identity, honesty and changing life goals can shape a relationship’s outcome. Four years after the split, Waithe moved on with singer and actress Cynthia Erivo in 2024, while Mayo has remained largely private about her personal life.
